+- Chronic Suicide Support (https://www.chronicsuicidesupport.com/forum)
+-- Forum: Other Stuff (https://www.chronicsuicidesupport.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Forum: Happy Halls * (https://www.chronicsuicidesupport.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=22)
+--- Thread: Mr Jones & Little Johnny (/showthread.php?tid=1540)
Mr Jones & Little Johnny - Dragon - 08-31-2010
Mr Jones was a new teacher at little Johnny's school. Over the summer, before school started he'd had a minor automobile accident, hurt his back and was in a light body cast from his neck to his waste.
It was a beautiful day and rather than run the air conditioner, Mr Jones opened the windows to his class room; seems though as if the breeze kept blowing his tie - over his shoulder, into his face, onto the chalk board, everyplace but where it should be. Finally, having had enough, he picked up the stapler from his desk, pulled his tie straight down the front of his shirt and stapled it to the body cast!!!
Mr Jones had *NO* trouble from that class for the rest of the school year!
How about a few more of the Mr Jones & Little Johnny jokes ....
Re: Mr Jones & Little Johnny - Lurker.In.The.Night - 08-31-2010
lol those poor kids
Re: Mr Jones & Little Johnny - Dragon - 09-01-2010
Mr Jones, trying to get Little Johnny to wake up for class:
Mr Jones: Johnny, what time do you wake up for school in the morning?
Johnny: Oh, I'd say about an hour after I get here.
Re: Mr Jones & Little Johnny - Dragon - 09-01-2010
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: ââ¬ÅI sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,ââ¬Â she said proudly, ââ¬ÅMy sales approach was to appeal to the customerââ¬â¢s civic spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅVery good,ââ¬Â said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next:
ââ¬ÅI sold magazines,ââ¬Â she said, ââ¬ÅI made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅVery good, Jenny,ââ¬Â said the teacher..
Eventually, it was Little Johnnyââ¬â¢s turn.
The teacher held her breath ââ¬Â¦
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacherââ¬â¢s desk. ââ¬Å$2,467,ââ¬Â he said.
ââ¬Å$2,467!ââ¬Â cried the teacher, ââ¬ÅWhat in the world were you selling?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅToothbrushes,ââ¬Â said Little Johnny.
ââ¬ÅToothbrushes!ââ¬Â echoed the teacher, ââ¬ÅHow could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅI found the busiest corner in town,ââ¬Â said Little Johnny, ââ¬ÅI set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.ââ¬Â
They all said the same thing, ââ¬ÅHey, this tastes like dog shit!ââ¬Â
Then I would say, ââ¬ÅIt is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?ââ¬Â
ââ¬ÅI used the governmental approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the shitty taste out of your mouth."
Re: Mr Jones & Little Johnny - Dragon - 09-01-2010
One day Little Johnny's mom was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was *highly* upsetting to her. She hid the magazine until his father got home. When Little Johnny's father walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said, "THIS is what I found in "your" son's closet."
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
Several minutes passed, then she finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?"
Little Johnny's dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
Re: Mr Jones & Little Johnny - Lurker.In.The.Night - 09-01-2010
(09-01-2010, 12:30 AM)Dragon link Wrote: One day Little Johnny's mom was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was *highly* upsetting to her. She hid the magazine until his father got home. When Little Johnny's father walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said, \"THIS is what I found in \"your\" son's closet.\"
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
Several minutes passed, then she finally asked him, \"Well what should we do about this?\"
Little Johnny's dad looked at her and said, \"Well I don't think you should spank him.\"
LMAO! He probably planted it there so he would never get spanked again. xD
Re: Mr Jones & Little Johnny - Dragon - 09-14-2010
Little Johnny was going to his fathers house one day and he was packing everything in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.
He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill.
He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This God damn thing is so heavy"
A priest heard him and came out. "You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest. "God hears you...He is everywhere...He's in the church...He's on the sidewalk...He's everywhere"
Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon"
The priest replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon"
Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"
Re: Mr Jones & Little Johnny - Dragon - 09-14-2010
One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants.
The Teacher asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?"
Then, Johnny said, "It hurts down there."
"Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home", said the teacher.
A little while later, Johnny came back to classroom and sat back down.
Then the teacher came to the back of the room again, and he had his dick hanging out of his pants.
The teacher said, "Johnny, what's that doing hanging out of your pants?!"
Then Johnny said, "My mommy said if I can stick it out until noon, she'll come and pick me up."
Re: Mr Jones & Little Johnny - Lurker.In.The.Night - 09-15-2010
oh god. LOL