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+--- Thread: Answering Service (/showthread.php?tid=261)
Answering Service - ogimyto - 05-14-2009
This is the transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Mental Health Institute.
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive: Press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent: Ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities: Press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid: We know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional: Press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic: Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive: It doesn't matter what number you press - no-one will answer.
If you are dyslexic: Press 969696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder: Please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia: Press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short term memory loss: Press 9.
If you have low self esteem: Please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Re: Answering Service - Meliadus - 05-14-2009
That is awesome - and I stole it for my blog hehe.
Re: Answering Service - Hells Angel - 05-14-2009
BRILLIANT :lv104:
Re: Answering Service - placid path - 06-02-2009
what was the number for short term memory loss again?
lol i amuse myself :Hpr:
RE: Answering Service - nikoo_o - 01-11-2022
I actually thought this was an actual transcript of the answering service for the first two sentences...
RE: Answering Service - Dragon - 05-25-2022
Some things deserve revisiting!
RE: Answering Service - UnicornSmudge - 05-27-2022
The hilarious thing is that the first half of this is an audio that is trending right now on Instagram, so it's awesome to see it was here first, and to read the whole thing. It cracks me up a whole lot.