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+--- Thread: What can I expect? (/showthread.php?tid=3772)
What can I expect? - Dragon - 08-24-2022
I'm going to speak for the forum butt expect that the Discord channel will be pretty much the same.
First and foremost you can expect the security to say what you want without fear of recriminations ( with two exceptions: 1) Method discussion - ways to 'off' yourself aren't allowed. and 2) as admin, I expect everyone to be, at least, polite. )
We all have problems, I don't think we'd be here if we didn't. Those problems prompt needs. When those needs become the overriding influence in our lives we sometimes forget that our neediness can begin to overshadow all interaction with others and that can be a problem all its own.
There's a psych game called "yes, but ..." it where someone offers a suggestion and the response begins with "Yes, but ..."
For example: I need to get out of the place I'm living.
"Have you tried looking for an apartment?"
"Yes, but they're all out of my price range."
"Have you considered a roommate?"
"Yes, but I don't want to live with anyone else after what I've been through."
"Have you looked in affordable, section 8, housing?"
"Yes, but they have such a long waiting list."
You get the idea, every idea that's suggested is invalid and the person has a valid reason that it won't work for them. What does one do ...?
The Psych can continue to play this game - that sometimes goes on for session after session - or accept that the person really doesn't want out of his situation seriously enough to make the changes needed.
Many of our users come here with "Yes, but ..." attitudes and won't listen to suggestions because they've "been there, done that" and it didn't work. If you've lived in a bad situation for years then, for example, a 6 month or a year isn't too long work on a solution. But just stopping trying isn't going to help!
When someone comes on board and starts discussing their needs, we all try to provide ideas that may help. But when someone comes on board and refuses any and all ideas it can get to be triggering for others.
"I've been there and I know it sucks but you have to be willing to do something!"
All I ask is that you have an open mind about discussions. We don't know you, we don't know what you've tried so I expect some "Yes, but ..." responses. but remember that your problems may causes others to be triggered their past problems.
Try for courtesy, try for empathy, just try ...