+- Chronic Suicide Support (https://www.chronicsuicidesupport.com/forum)
+-- Forum: Other Stuff (https://www.chronicsuicidesupport.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Forum: Happy Halls * (https://www.chronicsuicidesupport.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=22)
+--- Thread: Woman's Little Instruction Book: (/showthread.php?tid=897)
Woman's Little Instruction Book: - % - 11-17-2009
1. Woman don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself variety.
2. The best reason to divorce a man is for your health: you've gotten sick of him.
3. Definition of widowhood: the only good thing some women get out of marriage.
4. Always take disappointments like a man -- blame them on a woman.
5. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things, too.
6. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.
7. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high.
8. Men are like buses -- they never appear when you want them to and when they do they're driven by someone who only has a learner's permit.
9. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.
10. A man who can dress himself without looking like Homer Simpson is unquestionably gay.
11. Don't bother going to the chiropractor to get rid of a pain in the neck. Just divorce him.
12. Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.
13. Husbands are like kids -- they're okay as long as they're someone else's.
14. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
15. Having more than one wife is bigamy; having more than one husband is pure insanity.
16. A man's idea of serious commitment is "Oh, all right, I'll stay the night".
17. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the shower to pee.
18. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he already is.
19. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a woman.
20. There are a lot of words you can use to describe a man -- strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong, but you could still use them.
21. Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive, and potentially violent -- but they make great pets.
22. Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.
23. There are only 2 four-letter words that are offensive to men -- "don't" and "stop" -- unless, of course, they're said together.
24. Wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.
25. Always remind your husband that the wages of sin is alimony. [move] :fsheat:[/move]