Poem 2: The Jump

[Light]

1. As I look out upon the bay, (A)
2. And think thoroughly about the day.  (A)
3. I sit there thinking and crying, (B)
4. All I remember is the lying, (B)
5. Right to my face, ©
6. As though I were not worth their grace. ©
7. Many say they fear death. (D)
8. I truly don't think I have much left, (E)
9. For me it seems all that's left is death. (D)
10. I then stand up upon my feet, (F)
11. Feeling Florida's humid heat. (F)
12. I slowly climb over the ledge, (G)
13. And stood there shaking on the edge. (G)
14. Now is my time to fly, (H)
15. No more shall I hear a lie, (H)
16. For no longer will I be here. (I)
17. All my false loved ones no longer near. (I)
18. A light I see. (J)
19. I jump. (K)
20. I was all I could be, (J)
21. Now all I am is a lump. (K)

[Cordelia]

Hi Light,

thanks for sharing a poem
your poem brings me on a journey where i can see aspects of myself...
which means for me, that you are showing a truth about yourself in your writing.
though meaning for the writer and the meaning for the reader can be unique and this is ok.


your last line shocks  ... though i wonder if people would witness a "lump".... maybe more than that?

...it's good that you write.
............


...hoping to hear more of your poetry

with best wishes,
Cordelia

[Light]

Thank you Cordella. I was very depressed when I wrote this and felt that the only way to get the thoughts out of my head was to put them on paper in an ordered manner. I did so and by the end I started thinking, what will I really have gained once I kill myself? Then I thought to myself, all I would really be, assuming there is no after life, if a lump. No one, or at least not many, would remember the real me, the true me, my uniqueness, my smile, my love, none of that would survive, I would simply be remembered as that kid who killed himself.

Hi Light,

thanks for sharing a poem
your poem brings me on a journey where i can see aspects of myself...
which means for me, that you are showing a truth about yourself in your writing.
though meaning for the writer and the meaning for the reader can be unique and this is ok.


your last line shocks  ... though i wonder if people would witness a \"lump\".... maybe more than that?

...it's good that you write.
............


...hoping to hear more of your poetry

with best wishes,
Cordelia

[Cordelia]

Thank you Cordella. I was very depressed when I wrote this and felt that the only way to get the thoughts out of my head was to put them on paper in an ordered manner. I did so and by the end I started thinking, what will I really have gained once I kill myself? Then I thought to myself, all I would really be, assuming there is no after life, if a lump. No one, or at least not many, would remember the real me, the true me, my uniqueness, my smile, my love, none of that would survive, I would simply be remembered as that kid who killed himself.

Light,

Thank you so much for your words.
I feel privelaged (sp?) to read them.

I sense a strength in your words for one so young!!
..when you write of your uniqueness..smile...love.

Yes, true.

with best wishes to you

[unlegendary]

You're right about something.. If we die the only thing we're remembered for is the suicide unless our lives are that of Vincent Van Gough or others like him.. Since most of us don't get that kind of fame the suicides are often pointless ending short term pain and never making attempts to change things for the better.
If I had died the first time I tried i would have no kids and chances are my entire family would think of me as a distant thought and little more.
I'm not banking on some wonderful legacy and really don't care, but I'm also not to wild about what little legacy left be something like, "What a quitter."
That's one of the phrases that typically just pisses me off. Blame the person who is depressed for making other people sad.. Oh that makes everything better, does't it?