When Insults Had Class

[Dragon]

            When Insults Had Class

            These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to four letter words.

            The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
            She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
            He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

            A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
            "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

            "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

            "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

            "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow

            "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

            "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

            "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

            "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

            "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
            "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." -  Winston Churchill, in response.

            "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

            "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

            "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial" - Irvin S. Cobb

            "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

            "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

            "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

            "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

            "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

            "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

            "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde

            "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination. " - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

            "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

            "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx