Let's see ....

[Brightshadow]

I think this is a good idea, though this site is so small, I doubt I will find anyone (...)

Yeah, I still don't understand why so few people, that contemplate suicide, find their way in this forum. There're some really big anti-choice forums. In comparison, this forum is so small... Maybe there's something wrong with us, that we pro-choice... (joking^^)

I find that any woman I get to know, who may be interested in me over the Internet, is quickly turned off once we actually spend time together. I am not "fun." I have a serious mental illness.

I'm curious... if you had a choice, would you choose a girl with a similar illness or a cheerful, easy-going one? I for one would welcome the both scenarios (as long she's open-minded), but as for potential risks - I'm much more afraid to be a burden to a normal girl, than to face the dark/crazy side of our sister in arms, so to speak.

Besides, I may be wrong, but it's hard to imagine, that a normal girl would even find me interesting.

An awesome (yet rare) example for a cheerful, easy-going girl that I *can* imagine a good relation with is Hajime from Gatchaman Crowds, especially looking at her in the final episode. Not that I’m evil like Katze. But I guess, it would be not fair to waste Hajime’s awesomeness on me (yep, I’m still slightly obsessed with her, even a year after this show… and I’m sorry to use an anime reference, I guess you’re not into it, nor anyone else on this forum >.> )

I hate living alone, and like you, I believe if I found someone I deeply cared about who also deeply cared about me, I would stop seriously considering suicide.

And yet – decades of loneliness can turn even an angelic soul into a worthless black pebble ;_;

I'm sorry if my post made little sense; I got a bad cold since yesterday evening, and my mind is more clouded than usual ^^;