"God and nature do not work together in vain”

[Sadstguy]

I love the theme, the thoughts behind it and the flow of the thoughts.  There feels like there is something off about the ... and here i don't know my terms... tempo... the flow of the words.  Unfortunately I am not a poet and I would probably make a mess of the piece if  tried to offer suggestions. 


However I will say that the piece reminds me of an episode of House (imagine that)...

     House: \"... I choose to believe that the white light people sometimes see, visions, this patient saw: they're all just chemical reactions that take place when the brain shuts down.\"
     Foreman: \"You choose to believe that?\"
     House: \"There's no conclusive science. My choice has no practical relevance to my life, I choose the outcome I find more comforting.\"
     Cameron: \"You find it more comforting to believe that this is it?\"
     House: \"I find it more comforting to believe that this isn't simply a test.\"

Thanks!  I don't know what I was originally thinking when I jotted this down, as I can't imagine I would make such a mess of the meter and tempo, but it seems that I did.  In fact, I was so confused when I reposted this, that I thought, maybe it's just now that I'm not getting it.  Or heck, maybe I grabbed notes and posted them by mistake.

And that is why I ask for input.  I have absolutely no ability to self-critique my work.  I once discarded a poem that I pulled from the trash to share when nobody had anything and there was a lull.  It was a hit, it later won an award, and a critic told me it was his favorite he'd read in years.  >sigh<


I LOVE the House dialogue.  Absolutely wonderful.

Thanks again, Mind!

--S