The Onion: Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips on Frozen Meals

[unlegendary]

Stuffers.. I used to work for those criminals back in the mid/late 70s way up on the 14th floor of their downtown hoity toity hotel. I was the executive in charge of washing dishes and taking out the trash. EVERY night there were pounds and pounds, hundreds of pounds actually of perfectly good, serviceable food that many a charitable organization begged them to have at the end of the day and ALL of it went in the dumpsters. They placed cameras by the dumpster to make sure nobody gave anything away... If Stuffers execs decided to all commit suicide by jumping in that nasty dumpster I might become one of the people with a stick egging them on.. JUMP YA GREEDY FUCKS! JUMP!
None the less...you DO know the onion isn't real news.. I assume you're well aware anyway.. just in case..