wanted to share a poem I wrote

[haywud]

I've definitely given a lot of thought to doing volunteer work, the only thing holding me back is this frustrating social anxiety. I wish I could just push that away and get rid of it because even though I know I have other problems I feel like if I could be free of that anxiety I would be a lot more capable of doing things that would be beneficial not only for myself but for others as well.

[SuperHeroAnimals]

You know, as anxious as I am, I relax when I teach or tutor math. I suspect it has something to do with the topic, i.e., I love teaching math so much that I relax and just let go.

I do wonder whether other anxious individuals would (temporarily) lose their anxiety while engaging in some beloved vocation?

[haywud]

Oddly enough for me, even though I really struggle with social anxiety the one thing that seems to help me relax more than anything is having someone I can really talk to. Of course I have to get over that initial fear, but if it's someone I know and feel comfortable with then it's not that bad.

I sat on Discord for several hours last night chatting in text with someone I met on an anxiety forum about 2 months ago. We started with just messages on the forum, and we added each other on Discord pretty early on though never used it, then we went to email. Yesterday I decided I wanted to chat with someone else I haven't talked to in a long time on there, someone I've known for a couple of years now, and then this other person messaged me and we started chatting on there for the first time. We talked for almost 6 hours and my mind was able to get away from the bad thoughts and anxiety, plus it's just another example of how all it takes is getting past that initial fear to make something happen.

[SuperHeroAnimals]

...and it takes getting involved in something (or a conversation) you enjoy, I suspect.

It's really weird. Everyone thinks I am so shy because I am introverted. In reality, I am not at all shy, rather just very anxious. But, what happens when I get up in front of a class and start talking? I TOTALLY forget all about my anxiety. So much so, in fact, that my school videotaped me making a presentation STRAIGHT to the camera, and they said I was a natural.

So, I suspect it has something to do with being in one's element. The question is, then, what is your element? What do you love to do more than anything else in the world? Because, my guess is, that will be the ONE THING, if nothing else, that will get you out of the house on your own for the first time.

[haywud]

With this person we share an interest in games, especially the Zelda games, so that gave us a lot to talk about.

Wow I could never do that! If I know a camera is on me or someone is watching then forget it, I go silent haha! Like I love singing, but if I know someone can hear me I'm quiet as can be.

Hmm good question, I'm not sure what my element would be. The things I used to really love have been tainted these last several years, so that's hard to say.

[SuperHeroAnimals]

Perhaps put the idea on the back burner.