Let's see ....

[Dragon]

At the request of one of our members, I'm willing to try an experiment.  Let's see how this works.

A few caveats are in order:

• This is an open area of the forum - that means that guests can read it.
  
• Do not even think about using this as a method of setting up a suicide pact!
  
• Any abuse of this section or any abusive posting in it will be dealt with severely.
  

My apologies if this sounds unnecessarily strong, but my first concern is for the safety and happiness of everyone who visits here.  There are way too many things that can bring us down, let's not allow this are to be one of them.

//al (( dragon, administrator ))

[Brightshadow]

I guess, I'm not in the right mood now to create the thread, that I was going to create, and I'm not sure when I'll be. So, I might as well just address the "Why"s (and "Why not"s) for now.

First of all, I apologize if anyone feels, that the very idea of looking for a girlfriend / boyfriend in a suicide-related forum is a bad taste, annoying or even offensive.

But what exactly is so tasteless, annoying or offensive about it?

Is the very idea of a chronically suicidal person looking for a significant other so bad ?
( Or is it so bad if they look just for a date ? Personally, I do not, but sure I don't judge people who do. )

Or is it just a wrong place ?

Some say, we'll just drag each other deeper into depression, but doesn't the very existence of this forum speak against it, or at least in favor of taking this risk?

Some say, that people with suicidal thoughts are (likely to be) unable to maintain a relationship.
Basically, they say, that we should first cure ourselves, before we look for love.
My take on this:
I for one don't look for a cure from within.
Some of the reasons for considering to end my life are innate attributes of my soul, and I don't want to (and even can't) change it.
Some of the reasons are related to certain unfortunate events and unfortunate decisions I made - I don't want any help "to cope" with it either. These bad things grow so strong only because the good, enjoyable, exciting things are too few and too weak.
The only thing, that would make my stay in this world worth it, would be if I found a kindred soul, and there was at least a bit of physical attraction.

Is it so weird to wish to find a significant other, who shares your believes regarding the right to die?
Or can understand the beauty of the abyss, void, nothingness?

Assuming, you agree, that such a wish is not wrong,
where can you look for a person like this?
We are so few, that it may take forever to sift through friendship & dating sites, before you find a like-minded guy/girl. Some of these sites seem to ban/delete accounts for suicide-related tags / profile text. Some others don't, but many people don't know it, and are afraid that it might happen ("so, why bother"). Also, it takes some courage to mention this topic in your profile (or keywords), because there's a possibility of harassment by anti-choice vigilantes. Also, there're some problems with maintaining your privacy on such sites (though I'd rather not go into details). Let's face it: we are the new public enemy, the outcast, the ones who should keep silent. So, why not band together and at least create a chance for like-minded people to find happiness in this world?

I guess, the cat out of the bag. Yeah, it was my idea to create this section. It's not like I want to take the credit. It's more like taking the responsibility and bad rep >.>

I would be glad if someone (besides me) found this idea useful and posted a profile (a request, an ad... however we call it) before me.
I guess, it would be better if anyone, who posts a profile, creates a new thread.
Please feel free to include as few or as many details about yourself and the one you're looking for.



( credit for the image: flowerdrop )

[nightsong]

I'm married, so this isn't the thread for me, but I do have to say that the rose picture is absolutely beautiful!

[Dragon]

Since this was BrightShadows idea, I'll let him take the credit with no problem.  If he hadn't mentioned it, I don't think I would have considered it and I'm not sure that it's not worth considering.  (( oh there I go with double negatives again, hope that was understandable ))

I do think he has some good ideas - looking at the "sane"  world for companionship is a seemingly good way to find ourselves rejected, so why not look to others who really do have some idea of what we're going through.

[jumper]

I guess, I'm not in the right mood now to create the thread, that I was going to create, and I'm not sure when I'll be. So, I might as well just address the "Why"s (and "Why not"s) for now.

First of all, I apologize if anyone feels, that the very idea of looking for a girlfriend / boyfriend in a suicide-related forum is a bad taste, annoying or even offensive.

But what exactly is so tasteless, annoying or offensive about it?

Is the very idea of a chronically suicidal person looking for a significant other so bad ?
( Or is it so bad if they look just for a date ? Personally, I do not, but sure I don't judge people who do. )

Or is it just a wrong place ?

Some say, we'll just drag each other deeper into depression, but doesn't the very existence of this forum speak against it, or at least in favor of taking this risk?

Some say, that people with suicidal thoughts are (likely to be) unable to maintain a relationship.
Basically, they say, that we should first cure ourselves, before we look for love.
My take on this:
I for one don't look for a cure from within.
Some of the reasons for considering to end my life are innate attributes of my soul, and I don't want to (and even can't) change it.
Some of the reasons are related to certain unfortunate events and unfortunate decisions I made - I don't want any help "to cope" with it either. These bad things grow so strong only because the good, enjoyable, exciting things are too few and too weak.
The only thing, that would make my stay in this world worth it, would be if I found a kindred soul, and there was at least a bit of physical attraction.

Is it so weird to wish to find a significant other, who shares your believes regarding the right to die?
Or can understand the beauty of the abyss, void, nothingness?

I think this is a good idea, though this site is so small, I doubt I will find anyone and I've basically given up on the idea. I find that any woman I get to know, who may be interested in me over the Internet, is quickly turned off once we actually spend time together. I am not "fun." I have a serious mental illness.

I hate living alone, and like you, I believe if I found someone I deeply cared about who also deeply cared about me, I would stop seriously considering suicide.

[Brightshadow]

I think this is a good idea, though this site is so small, I doubt I will find anyone (...)

Yeah, I still don't understand why so few people, that contemplate suicide, find their way in this forum. There're some really big anti-choice forums. In comparison, this forum is so small... Maybe there's something wrong with us, that we pro-choice... (joking^^)

I find that any woman I get to know, who may be interested in me over the Internet, is quickly turned off once we actually spend time together. I am not "fun." I have a serious mental illness.

I'm curious... if you had a choice, would you choose a girl with a similar illness or a cheerful, easy-going one? I for one would welcome the both scenarios (as long she's open-minded), but as for potential risks - I'm much more afraid to be a burden to a normal girl, than to face the dark/crazy side of our sister in arms, so to speak.

Besides, I may be wrong, but it's hard to imagine, that a normal girl would even find me interesting.

An awesome (yet rare) example for a cheerful, easy-going girl that I *can* imagine a good relation with is Hajime from Gatchaman Crowds, especially looking at her in the final episode. Not that I’m evil like Katze. But I guess, it would be not fair to waste Hajime’s awesomeness on me (yep, I’m still slightly obsessed with her, even a year after this show… and I’m sorry to use an anime reference, I guess you’re not into it, nor anyone else on this forum >.> )

I hate living alone, and like you, I believe if I found someone I deeply cared about who also deeply cared about me, I would stop seriously considering suicide.

And yet – decades of loneliness can turn even an angelic soul into a worthless black pebble ;_;

I'm sorry if my post made little sense; I got a bad cold since yesterday evening, and my mind is more clouded than usual ^^;

[nightsong]

Good to see you back, BrightShadow!

[Dragon]

BrightShadow, I'm with you ... I've found a lot of Pro-suicide sites ( where the emphasis is on legal assisted suicide ) and the anti-suicide sites ( You're damned to hell if you even think about it ). I try hard to keep the discussion open for both alternatives - since they really are alternatives - and I don't think I could pay most people to come visit us.

You've had a cold and I've had an ear-ache (which is rare for me, I seldom get sick <knock wood!>) sounds like a good time to just leave us alone! Take care of the cold, pneumonia is the pits!

[bloom4]

I just wanted to comment, people were wondering about why there are so few members.
I myself have been researching my trip on the bus for at least 10 years and the other day was the first time I came across this forum.
This seems to be a niche, maybe I'm wrong though, but it seems to be a rare in between of those who are relativity rational and who just believe in their choice and find comfort. I know I have been looking up my shroud and casket options and planning those things too.
There would be something extra comforting about a pill..a bus ticket as you will, that could just wait for me. The panic and pressure is reduced.

anyways, when I read the info about this site, it was exactly how I felt. I don't know how I could of just googled this type of place..I wouldnt even know how to put it into words or know that others understood.
ANyways, just interesting to me that I am just now finding this place after a lot of looking around.

[UnicornSmudge]

I think this is a good idea, though this site is so small, I doubt I will find anyone and I've basically given up on the idea. I find that any woman I get to know, who may be interested in me over the Internet, is quickly turned off once we actually spend time together. I am not "fun." I have a serious mental illness.

I hate living alone, and like you, I believe if I found someone I deeply cared about who also deeply cared about me, I would stop seriously considering suicide.

Hi everyone. I'm new. I read the forum rules and i have joined this platform before and my profile was probably deleted a few times because i am shy and i may or may not have posted something before but never had any connection to other users.
Well, i am back, what do they always say, "sorry youre here?"
I am trying to reach out again. It's been a few years.
This post quoted above by Jumper really hit home for me. I have struggled so much to connect with guys who seem nice and interested in the beginning but generally it turns out that i am "not fun" and so no longer hold their interest.

I, really, am "not fun". Know why? Because i am a human! Sure, I Like to have a good time when i can manage it. I am really silly. I am also very serious. I like things like reading and science and making things when i am not working for other people, and providing proper nutrition, hygiene, and amenities within financial responsibility for myself. I also am often sad. I am a realist. I work hard. And sometimes i am just too exhausted to work or play. Sometimes i am stuck in a macabre thought cycle. Sometimes i am very negative, usually when I feel disconnected, unloved, or used. I do have flashbacks to things that are upsetting to me. There are a lot of triggers everywhere. I have to work extra hard to feel safe, which is "not fun". It is very serious business. I am also very spiritual.
The framework of a relationship can be unsafe and it takes a lot of communication for me to find out (in the past it has been to find out that it is indeed not a safe relationship!) whether or not it will be a safe place with a safe person to get close to. Apparently communication is also "not fun". Really though, fun is not a thing to strive for!? It is fleeting, frivolous like seeking pleasure and loads of meaningless trinkets and experiences.
So, really it is bullshit. A cop out. If a relationship is purely for entertainment, idk what the point is! I always hope to find a real, meaningful connection with someone who genuinely cares for the people in their life.

Also i get really bummed out when i hear things like "you have to love yourself before you can love others". Really? How have they determined that I don't "love myself"? I have a lot of issues. Loads of Anxiety! ? (like it's exciting) depression, c-ptsd, and i am sometimes self harming when i get to a point of crisis or emotional overload. But i do love myself. I also love those in my life with everything i can. And sometimes the can is empty and i need a nap and a sandwich. It has been a journey that i am still traveling on to learn to put my needs above others, because of the way that i am and the way that i was brought up... but just because it is my general inclination to make sure those around me are safe and comfortable and at ease doesn't mean that i don't want those things for myself. I wish i could connect with someone with a similar mindset and spiritual understanding, who also checks on those in their company and shows genuine concern for their friends, partner, pets, family members, and strangers in obvious need.

WORDS!!!! Lots of 'em. Hopefully i got all the typos... thanks for reading (i hope someone does, i know it's So Long).  Please say hi!