My account was deleted! Why??

[Dragon]

I've had a bit of an exchange with a new non-member that I thought I'd like to share with everyone.

I deleted the account as it violated our terms of service and essentially irritated me.  His first post was a longish one - basically a diatribe 'defending his right' to kill himself.  I think he realized he wasn't making friends so he deleted that message himself and followed it up with a message asking for the web address of a website with 'proven and painless methods.'  

In the first place, I don't know of any ... I know of one who has a list of proven methods but they definitely aren't painless (it's been mentioned here in passing before.)  In the second place, if I were to tell him of such a site and he were to successfully kill himself the chances are good that a forensic examination of his computer could bring undesirable attention to the forum.

He then followed that up with this in an email:

You are such liars - your very domain name is false and misleading and you should be ashamed of yourself!
 
If you don't respect a person's right to choose, then call yourself suicideprevention.com
 
You are disgusting!!

I disagree with the comment about the domain name since the introduction states that it's a support site for the "minority of people who spend years and even decades living with constant suicidal ideation while rarely reaching a crisis point. ... This website is intended to be a resource for the chronically suicidal." I would have thought that anyone reading the intro would see that. Obviously not.

I absolutely respect your right to choose death over life. I've talked with people here who have gone to on to kill themselves. It's their choice and I do respect that, but that said, that doesn't mean that I won't miss them. If you want to kill yourself, I'm not going to do anything to try to stop you - but don't ask me to help you.

Gee, I'm sorry you feel that way ....

And the above quote is what I had in my email this morning, thanks for helping me start my day off in a less than desirable mood.

[nightsong]

  You don't deserve that, Dragon.  Nor do you need my approval of your actions, but I do completely agree with banning him and deleting his account.   It's what I always tell my children- it's OK to be angry, it's not OK to be aggressive. He can be angry that he came searching for solutions and and didn't find them- he's not the first and won't be the last- but turning that anger on you is uncalled for. 

If it helps to give you a chuckle, this morning my daughter made me a "fruit salad."  It consisted of apples, carrots, cheese, and turkey.   My son said it wasn't a salad because it didn't have lettuce. 

[Ashley]

I'm sorry you had such a horrible start to the day and I completely agree with deleting the person's account. Thank you for keeping us safe. To the best of my knowledge, this is the only non-judgemental place we can talk online without fear of a foot coming through the door, police involvement, and in some cases the permanent destruction of families with small children.

I'm not exaggerating. Of course I'm still cautious because I'm new, but just knowing that I can describe my life somewhere and be heard and understood makes it easier to keep living it.

[SuperHeroAnimals]

Dragon, you certainly did not deserve such a response.

My guess is, this fellow is truly struggling and is merely taking out his rage on the first safe person available - you.

Try not to take this personally. No need to allow this individual to ruin your day.

[Dragon]

Thanks all of you - and welcome to our place @SuperHeroAnimals (hereafter SHA)

I quite agree with you SHA (you'll see we abbreviate long names) but that wasn't the way to get my attention.  Had either of his original messages or his email to me indicated a desire to talk I would have.  Coming and asking for a source and then excoriating me when I denied it ... well, that wasn't the way to make friends and favourably influence people.

I've gotten a few messages saying that 'this' isn't what I was looking for, please delete my account - no problem, it's done.  But come at me with an attitude and you'll (not personal, a generic 'you') find I can get one - quickly.  (( And like it or not, I am the boss here! ))

I seldom take messages like this personally - just sometimes I think I need to reinforce the fact that while I (we?) may be pro-choice that doesn't mean that I'm going to help someone kill themself.  And yes, I intentionally put it in a part of the forum that would be open so he has a chance to read my response.

[Satiny]

Don't see why the domain is wrong... this is truly a support for people suffering from chronic suicide idealization and I enjoy coming here. By keeping this site running, you make many people happy or at least offer them a safe place.

(Well, anyone who can use Google or another search engine will find what he's searching for… doesn't need that forum for it…)

Hope the rest of your day is better. Just can agree with @SuperHeroAnimals … There is just someone using you to project all his anger into. Don't think it's something personal.

[SuperHeroAnimals]

"...but that wasn't the way to get my attention."

Oh, I agree with you. One of the things I've learned, though, over my (ahem) long life is that people in his position rarely choose an appropriate attention-seeking option.