The Universal Vending Machine

[SuperHeroAnimals]

...and out pops two squares of delectable high-quality dark chocolate and a glass of dry red wine.

So, I toss in three pairs of old shoes that I was too lazy to take to my local thrift shop....

[Satiny]

… and out pops a prince! He looks at you and is somewhat disappointed, because he thought you were Cinderella

I toss in the laundry I still have to wash

[Dragon]

... and out pops as Ines Di Santo's wedding dress, now just what am *I* supposed to do with that.

I look around and pick up a bag of dog hair from my pups and toss that in.

[UnicornSmudge]

And out pops an ugly christmas sweater!

So i toss in a jar of colored pencils and a bunch of pastel nubs

[Ashley]

And out pops my cat--he does tend to get into things.

So I toss in a handful of very old fashioned mung beans.....

[Satiny]

You can marry me, @Dragon ! But only, if you wear that dress.

… and out pops a rainbow cake. Enjoy!

I look in a mirror and then toss it in…

[Ashley]

....and out pops my face! Poor you! Oh well, I give you a big hug, thank you for being a good friend anyway, find a guy fawkes mask or a paper bag or something ANYTHING AT ALL so I can cover up and toss in a completely condescending and pointless corporate consumer product I shall euphemistically describe as "tym4buying™"......

[UnicornSmudge]

Lol@Satiny

[UnicornSmudge]

...and out pops Donald Trump in a Donald Duck costume! So i call animal control to fix the problem...
And i toss in a bunch of sage and lavender and some rough quartz points that i haven't found the time to clean

[Ashley]

And out pops a sage smudge I forgot I even had! So I light it to keep President Duck from nuking my living room and toss in this framed portrait of myself graduating from college while breastfeeding my oldest daughter....